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Are you tired of marital disputes? Here are the best ways to solve them

Are you tired of marital disputes? Here are the best ways to solve them

The psychological stress caused by frequent differences can destroy the couple's health (Pixels)
The psychological stress caused by frequent differences can destroy the couple's health (Pixels)

It is essential that the two partners work to resolve the differences that prevent their coexistence, so as to advance life, and there are many ways to manage these marital disputes published by the Confederation in an article by writer Ada Nunio.

Brawls and disagreements between spouses are a bitter experience, but if we learn how to express our opinion and reach mutually satisfactory results and respect each other's views, discussions may become useful.

If the parties fail to abide by these rules, the psychological pressure it causes
Frequent quarrels can destroy the health of both parties and increase their risk of chronic disease. Some studies have found a close relationship between marital differences and leaking intestinal syndrome.

"The total absence of marital differences is not a healthy phenomenon," says psychologist Mark Borg. "It means that one side does not have the confidence to show its differences of opinion, so this is not the right solution, and in contrast, it is not easy. "It is a skill that man must develop over time."

Why do you quarrel?
When it comes to resolving differences, the couple often ends up opening files of the past.

According to Dr. Burg, there are two popular ways to resolve the dispute, depending on the personality of the husband or wife: either try to fight fiercely until you win in the end, or keep the dispute open, and try to ignore things that bother you, and both options is not suitable for human health and the sustainability of the relationship.

It is very important for the couple to define the nature of the dispute and its causes, and to begin work to solve it collectively.

In 2011, a study in the Journal of Sexual and Couple Therapy reported that partners who adopted a cooperative approach to managing their differences were the most comfortable in their marriage.

Learn how to apologize
Some people think that loved ones never have to say sorry, but that is not true. It is certain that asking for forgiveness from a partner is the best way, but without expecting all the differences to disappear once the word sorry is spoken. The problems in this context are that sometimes we apologize superficially without trying to understand the reasons that angered the other party.

A research done in 2013 confirms that partners who felt that the other party had sincerely apologized to them were able to overtake and forgive in a faster time.

This does not mean that criticism is directed at yourself constantly and is always to blame. It is only the responsibility to contribute to the search for a solution. This is not necessary after the dispute has erupted directly, because it will seem false. It must take some time to think, Then the partner will feel that he accepts your apology.

Shut the door on yourself
Newly connected couples with external sources of psychological support, such as family and friends, do not feel the same tension when disagreements arise with the partner as those who have no one to turn to.

Having these problems with a third party and listening to a different opinion can help us understand what is really happening in our married life. It is better to search the family environment or friends for someone who has enough awareness and communicative skills to advise us. Help us understand many things and broaden our horizons.

Pay attention to your words
Each side of the conflict and the quarrel must pay careful attention to its words. It is best to take some time to think before reacting and then to debate by presenting intelligent arguments rather than shouting.

In this case, it is advisable to focus on describing the feelings so that the other side can understand you rather than continue to blame you for mistakes. For example, we can say to the other side, "I'm lonely when you're busy answering the phone" instead of saying "Why are you always busy with the phone?" .

Select rules
There are three basic problems that couples discuss, namely, children, the distribution of housework, and the management of funds. It is necessary to be aware of the impact of these thorny issues on the relationship between spouses.

Getting understandings about previous differences - whatever their theme - can help the couple prepare for future discussions.

It is important to set rules and limits that are not allowed to be bypassed by any party until the differences are managed properly and within reasonable limits, such as agreeing to defer talk until each party calms down.

Source: Spanish Press

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